Here is a passage from the book: The Art of Happiness - HH DILAI LAMA & HOWARD C CUTTLER.
One of the motivational books that really marked me
“A woman named Kisagotami suffered the death of her only child .Unable to accept it, she ran from person to person, seeking a medicine to restore her child to life. The Buddha was said to have such a medicine..... .' I know of such a medicine,’ the Buddha replied. But in order to make it, I must have certain ingredients.....Bring me a handful of mustard seed said the Buddha. The woman promised to procure it for him, but as she was leaving, he added, I require that the mustard seed be taken from a household where no child, spouse, parent, or servant has died '.
The woman agreed and began going from house to house in search of the mustard seed. At each house the people agreed to give her the seed, but when she asked them if anyone had died in the household, she could find no home where death had not visited -in one house a daughter, in another a servant, in others a husband or parent had died. Kisagotami was not able to find a home free from suffering or death. Seeing she was not alone in her grief, the mother let go of her child's lifeless body and returned to the Buddha, who said with a great compassion, you thought that you alone had lost a son; the law of death is that among all living creatures there is no permanence.
No one lives free from suffering and loss.
I wanted to share this with you because ever since I read book, it changed my point of views in life, of course when I was studying psychology at the university I remember one of my teachers mentioning something similar that during a tough situation we think it happened only to us but in fact no, there are lots of people out there who have similar or even worse situations.
In my opinion we don't have any excuse to complain when we find ourselves in a tough situation, instead we have to be strong and ask ourselves what can we do with it? How can we turn a bad situation or tough one into our advantage?
I know we are humans and it's not easy to think straight just right away when facing hard times, it’s OK, set a time limit for yourself to grief, to be angry, to depress, anything you want, but when the time is up, say to yourself it is time to pick up my pieces. And start doing so
Now that I am studying Art Therapy, a very important thing we concentrate while attending a patient is to let him create and when he is unhappy with his work of art, to help him develop this work, help him to face it and not to try hiding the unwanted parts of his creation, instead we tell him, what happened, happened, don't try to change it, instead how can you use this art that you create in a positive way, and the patient will continue working on it until he is happy.
And it is amazing to see how patients slowly, slowly can find solutions around this unwanted work of art that will lead them later into finding solutions into their own life problems.
We don't have to be necessarily patients to use this way of thinking in our lives, life is full of experiences it can be bad or good, and it is us who decide the way we want to perceive it.